In January, BBC aired a six-part TV series, ‘Waiting for the Out’. The show is based on the memoir of Andy West, ‘A Life Inside’, which detailed his experience of teaching philosophy in prison, alongside the personal history of imprisonment within his own family.
Across six episodes, viewers watch ‘Dan’ grapple with getting to know the men who enter his classroom, and how the ‘big questions’ of life take on even vaster meaning for those who have lost their liberty.
Caterina Declas, one of our coaches, not only loved the show, but connected with the journey we see Dan navigate and her own experience of working with young people in prison. Here’s what she had to share:
Stepping into prison for the first time
When I first sat down to watch the show, I wasn’t sure how realistic it would be or how much I would relate to the storyline, but I was immediately drawn in by the scenes showing Dan going into prison for the first time. You’re not allowed to bring a phone through security, and he really struggles with this – both locking it away and feeling sure he doesn’t still have it. I felt exactly the same; especially the first few times, I kept thinking it was still with me. Sometimes you’d even hear a sound and think it was your phone ringing!
Our phones have become like an extension of our bodies, it can feel really confusing to be without them. Equally, when you know just how important it is that you haven’t got it with you when you go into a prison, you can’t help but keep patting yourself down to be sure.
The first time I went in, I had to walk through a wing whilst everyone was out for association. I just stood there thinking, ‘I’m not sure I can do this.’ But I summoned my courage and remembered why I was there. Years later and the environment is something you never completely get used to. At times there are so many sounds it can be overwhelming. All your senses become heightened. But at other times it’s so quiet you can hear a pin drop.
In the show, we see Dan gradually learning and adjusting to the rhythms of the prison regime; it felt exactly like the journey all of us, imprisoned or just visiting, go through when understanding this complicated environment.
Group dynamics
In the show, we see Dan ‘dumbing down’ his material before his first lesson, before being checked by one man who already knows a lot about philosophy. I related to Dan’s experience of preparing the room for the first time, organising things and waiting in the quiet before the storm arrives. Or, potentially, the calm – you just don’t know how lively or engaged people will be.
I related to Dan’s sense of trepidation. I often feel like, ‘Who am I about to meet? What will our first impressions of each other be?’ Someone might walk in seeming serious or like they don’t like you – just from the expression on their face. But you never actually know; young people can really surprise you.
Dan’s class is filled with lots of different types of characters that all bounce off each other – quiet, angry, sad, joking, focused on the future. As coaches, we have to constantly adapt to the dynamics in the room. Watching Dan navigate this and having to think on his feet on his own really made me feel grateful that I always have a co-facilitator with me. Not only is it comforting but it’s great to have someone to bounce off, to bring a different energy and perspective.
Masculinity and emotions
Masculinity and mental health, understandably, is a massive part of the series. We see Dan, and the men in his class, struggling intensely, and not necessarily knowing how to express themselves or get the support they need.
In prison, anger can be easy to access but joy or sadness can be much harder. Most men’s number one priority in prison is staying safe – a lot of the time that involves wearing a mask. In our sessions, guys can feel concerned about letting their guard down and then having their vulnerabilities picked on. We have to hold space to connect to feelings safely and not leave in distress.
I loved seeing how Dan’s philosophical prompts take the guys’ minds all over and bring up so many different questions. Coaching does this too – we’re asking young men to think about huge topics: their identity, life experiences, their goals and hopes for the future. To do this, they also need to connect to the belief that they’re worth it; that they matter.
Motivation and fatherhood
In the show, fatherhood is a huge motivation for quite a few of the guys; lots of the classical fables Dan shares about women prompts them to think about their partners and daughters. One beautiful story line shows a young man battling his emotions and shame to record his daughter a bedtime story, even though he really struggles with his reading.
I used to run a father’s group for imprisoned men, and reflecting on this new role can prompt much broader questions about identity. One man I coached suddenly became really interested in learning more about his roots, Black history, his ancestry. He was the father of a one-year-old daughter; he had just been living in his ordinary world, but once that opened up, it started to occupy his thoughts all the time – it was like a light bulb had switched on about who he was.
I often find myself supporting young men to navigate the challenges of being separated from their families, thinking about what kind of father they want to be, and what action they can take to be present whilst still inside. Being able to maintain those connections once released and not return to prison becomes really important.
Knowing how to help
Through the series, we see Dan figuring out how to help the men in his class in a safe and boundaried way – and not always succeeding! He does things that don’t feel entirely within the rules. My heart went out to him; when I first started working inside, I had lots of questions about what you’re allowed to do and what you’re not. This is something all professional coaches have to learn; our job is to support people to identify their own skills and strengths and not lean into rescuing.
People face so many restrictions in prison; I related to wanting to help as much as you can. For me, that often looks like trying to find more information about a topic or question a young person might have but can’t find the answers to inside.
What I loved about the show was it showed Dan being changed by his work inside. You learn from the guys as well – that’s what’s beautiful about the process: you go in and you don’t know what to expect and you will come away with a new perspective.
At its heart, Waiting for the Out centres on the tender, complicated bond between Dan and his brother Lee. One still grappling with the past, the other having rebuilt his life, their journey together becomes a powerful reminder that when one person chooses to change, it ripples outward into families and communities. It was great that it ended with hope and joy; a sense of a cycle having been broken.
